These are my top five favorite ideas for Halloween costumes this year! They can be for yourself, your kid, or your fur baby!
The Notorious RBG
Our wonderful Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a classic feminist costume. All you need is a black robe with white lace around the neck; plus bonus points for XL stud earrings, glasses, and hair in a low bun! (The crooked crown is a great add on, but not required.)
Another image, and a cool book! You can check it out on Amazon
For some inspiration! The original Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter
With the new movie out, Wonder Woman is definitely a hit for this year. Accessories are all that’s needed to make this pop! You can buy a pre-created full costume, or do a combo of your own clothes and some sweet accessories. This is a cool costume for adults, kids, and fur children. Wear red on top, and blue on bottom. The bottoms can be leggings, shorts, a bathing suit, skirt, or any number of other items out of your closet. Don’t forget these essential accessories!
Pre-made or home-made, you can wear her classic white dress and get a set of head buns to complete the look! I’ve seen in person a ten month old Princess Leia and a six year old Princess Leia… I bet your dog might dig it too!
Cat Ears and “Can’t Grab” t-shirt
Instead of a sexy cat, you can be a feminist cat– can’t grab this pussy! It’s super simple, and you can style it however you (or your group!) like.
Handmaid from “Handmaid’s Tale”
A long red dress and oversized white bonnet are all you need for this simple, statement-making costume. (Also great as a group costume!)
If you haven’t read the book:
Enjoy your Halloween, and don’t forget to send me pictures of your cool feminist costumes (or your kiddos)! (you can always comment-post them in the comments here) Also, these are all affiliate links, which means that I may make a commission from your purchase (at NO additional cost to you). <3
These are some great princess books for kids– I’ve got six godchildren and would much rather give them books than compete with the grandparent toy-a-thon. Check these out and see if they’re what you’re looking for in your next kid gift!
The Paper Bag Princess (read time 5 minutes, perfect for ages 2-92)
A childhood favorite of mine– I still have my book and doll! 🙂
Princesses can be more than just beautiful clothes in a beautiful castle– they can chase down powerful dragons that kidnap their lovers. Princess Elizabeth, in just her paper bag dress, confronts the terrifying dragon that burned down her kingdom and uses her smarts to trick him. She cons the dragon into showing off until he is so exhausted he has to sleep. She bravely rescues her future husband only to have him insult her appearance. He says she doesn’t look like a princess. They don’t get married, and the smart, brave paper bag princess dances into the sunset.
The Princess and the Pizza (read time 11 minutes, perfect for ages 6+)
Former princess Paulina really misses the perks of being a princess now that she’s just a regular townsperson. She finds out that a nearby queen is looking for a “true princess” to marry her son. Paulina puts on her best ball gown, and tucks some lucky garlic and herbs into her bodice. Then she puts her tiara on her head and heads out to regain her old benefits.
There is lots of competition to marry the prince, and the grumpy queen has tests for the princesses! Paulina’s final test is to make a feast for the queen, but she didn’t get as many ingredients as the other princesses. Back in her room all of her attempts to cook fail, so she gives up and takes a nap. Paulina wakes up to the queen saying the losers will be beheaded! She quickly adds her lucky garlic and herbs to her flat-dough “mess” that she had covered in tomatoes and cheese and pushes it into her bedroom fireplace. When the feasts are presented, Paulina’s is the favorite! After it is named pizza, she runs away from the castle (and marriage) to go home and open a pizza shop that everyone in the town loves.
Part Time Princess“girl by day, princess by night”
(read time 4 minutes, picture viewing time 5 minutes, perfect for ages 4+)
Written in our main character’s voice, we find out that she is “just a regular girl” who goes to school. Sometimes she is annoyed by her younger siblings and all of the things she isn’t allowed to do. But each night at midnight she turns into a princess!
She often must be very brave and fight dragon fires. “A real princess can slide down a fire pole in a frilly skirt. No one dreams of telling her it’s too dangerous.” After putting out the latest fire, she decides not to lock up the dragon, and to invite him to tea instead. This was very smart, because the dragon just needed some cheering up. She also attends very fun classes, eats pink cake, plays in the mud, and takes a bubble bath with a dolphin.
A visiting queen (her mother) helps her pick out the best ball gown, and then a bunch of trolls crash the ball! Thanks to her classes, she knows that trolls love to dance, and saves the day. She also meets a handsome prince: “maybe I’ll marry him when I grow up. But right now I’m too busy.” At the end of her long day as a princess she goes home to bed, to return to being a girl by day.
I love that all of these stories feature brave, smart girls who walk (or dance!) away from the guys in their stories. He’s rude, he’s boring, or “it’s ME time!” A princess does NOT require a prince.
Newest product! “Confidence is Beautiful” reminder cards and magnets!
I’ve got one stuck to the mirror right next to my toothbrush, and another on the fridge. It’s a reminder I need every day, and it’s a reminder I need especially bad when my depression is kicking my ass.
This is the card (one sided), perfect for thumb tacking to your bulletin board, or sticking in the corner of a mirror!
This is the magnet– I’ve got one on my fridge right now!
Gift ideas for the holidays, for all of the cranky feminists in your life (fat or slim)! This is a gift guide in progress, so don’t forget to check back for more great finds!
books I recommend!
Fatropoliswill take you away to an alternate world where big is beautiful. Hiding your body is unnecessary. Shopping for clothes is easy. Eating your fill isn’t embarrassing. If you’re a fat woman (or man!) this is a book you don’t want to miss! (age appropriate for high schoolers as well)
Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide is a book to not read lightly. It’s important work, it’s an important read, but it comes with a giant trigger warning. Amazon says “…a passionate call to arms against our era’s most pervasive human rights violation: the oppression of women and girls in the developing world. One chapter at a time, this is an important read.
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic is a graphic novel depicting Alison Bechdel’s childhood, adolescence, and discovery of her sexuality. She shows us her vulnerabilities, her family problems, and her journey to adulthood. I’ve read this several times, and highly recommend!
Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood is a graphic novel depicting Marjane Satrapi’s coming of age in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. Don’t miss this! (also age appropriate for high schoolers)
On my personal wishlist is Sex Object: a Memoir, by Jessica Valenti. Amazon says “Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential. From subway gropings and imposter syndrome to sexual awakenings and motherhood, Sex Object reveals the painful, embarrassing, and sometimes illegal moments that shaped Valenti’s adolescence and young adulthood in New York City.”
Fresh off the press, Feminist Fight Club: an Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace, by Jessica Bennett is also on my wishlist. Here’s why: “Part manual, part manifesto, Feminist Fight Club is a hilarious yet incisive guide to navigating subtle sexism at work, providing real-life career advice and humorous reinforcement for a new generation of professional women… Hard-hitting and entertaining, Feminist Fight Club blends personal stories with research, statistics, and no-bullsh*t expert advice. Bennett offers a new vocabulary for the sexist workplace archetypes women encounter everyday.”
“Fight Like a Girl introduces readers to the history of feminist activism in the U.S. in an effort to celebrate those who paved the way and draw attention to those who are working hard to further the feminist cause today.” How could this not be on my list of books to read and give?!
Rad Women Worldwide: Artists and Athletes, Pirates and Punks, and Other Revolutionaries Who Shaped History features 40 women from 31 countries around the world. There’s also a list of 250 additional rad women to check out on your own. Get inspired, or inspire others with this awesome collection!
coloring books on my wishlist!
The Yoni Coloring Book is an awesome gift for anyone you know that loves to color, or would enjoy creating crazy colored vulvas! The illustrator is part of our CFF community.
The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Coloring Book: A Tribute to the Always Colorful and Often Inspiring Life of the Supreme Court Justice Known as RBG.Need I say more than “notorious RBG coloring book!”? <3
**disclaimer! I may receive a commission from purchases made via these links**
My first surgery scars came in high school from putting my shoulder back together after a weird overuse accident. (labral tear– the tissue that holds the ball and socket in place was torn from the bone) After being misdiagnosed for eight months the 3 one-inch-long scars felt like battle scars. (I also did the classic sports injury side effect: ballooning 30 pounds and numerous stretch marks due to my appetite staying the same and my metabolism slowing down– I had been weightlifting and distance swimming daily and immediately had to stop.)
A year later I had a breast reduction, three pounds and some drainage tubes later there are almost two feet of faint pink scars. I have yet to meet a man who noticed my scars until about a month of pillow talk later… it’s been quite the confidence booster. My other surgery scars are from having my appendix plucked out a few years after that. The scars are consistent with an ovary removal, but luckily it was my appendix that was infected and dying instead. The surgical scars could almost count as battle scars — except my belly and boobs have faced no true trauma.
Living life scars.
All along my arms and legs are bug bites. My ankles and shins are regularly disaster areas. Ants and mosquitoes for the most part, but the occasional family of chiggers or no-see-ums will try to take up residence under a flip flop strap. Many bites have scabbed over, and some have finally left smooth purple discolorations that no amount of cocoa butter or shea butter has fixed.
My legs have not seen a razor since January 2011 — thighs alone even longer. Luckily the hair is rather blonde and thin, so I don’t need to worry about shaving over bug bites and opening up scabs. I’ve also got my fair share of old scraped knees and shins from work as well as my years of tree climbing and mud-pie-pancake making in the back yard. Additionally, no guy has noticed my leg hair until I’ve actually pointed it out to him. (Women on occasion have noticed the leg hair… hhm?)
What men have noticed are my stretch marks… on my arms, the underside of my upper arms, up to my armpits. It’s been a (heart-breaking) favorite to point out since my mid-teens. I’ve even encountered a few over my shoulders. Moving down, I have those crazy pregnancy stretch marks all over my belly, my hips, and creeping around to my low back and sides of my waist. I have never been pregnant, and did not “earn” those scars. Of course my outer thighs haven’t been excluded, and my inner thighs have just begun to catch on to the stretch mark idea. (They’re also big on the rub-together heat rash during sun dress season, which is about 9 months out of the year here.) Stretch marks on my boobs are a given, but they are much fainter in the years since the reduction.
My belly has stripes.
My belly stretch marks began arriving about a year after one of my good friends showed me hers in an angry embarrassed confession. I did my best to be kind and comforting, but I was horrified. Then mine arrived in college (unlimited dining plan = forever stopping by for a coffee refill and a handful of cookies for the walk). First one, then three, then six, then you just stop looking at your belly in the mirror because you don’t have anyone to confess your stretch marks to, and you find that you can only be angry with yourself for causing your own stretch marks. (you know, because fat people made themselves fat, on purpose, and it’s all their fault, like trolls love to remind me.)
I love wearing tank tops (my boobs love the ventilation), but they often show off the awkward underarm and shoulder stretch marks. This means tank tops are only ever for confident days. (regardless of whether or not I’ve shaved my pits in the last week or not, because you couldn’t pay me to give a fuck about pit hair ever again) My legs are very skinny (in relation to the rest of me, I’m a V shape– which isn’t featured in any magazines. ever.) and are glow in the dark white, and my belly looks like it has a stress-beer-pizza baby growing in it.
On my not-confident days I feel the need to find a bigger shirt to cover my belly and upper arms and a way to cover my legs down to my toes. (And obviously keep that belly covered, no peek-a-boo allowed!)
Often I have to skip one (I mean, 95 degrees plus humidity for a huge chunk of the year…) and then if I’m not careful I’ll have a near-meltdown in a bathroom over my bug-bitten white legs showing, my shoulder stretch marks showing, my clothes being too tight across my belly… myself conforming to the shame that society places on fat people, and the overwhelming desire to hide my “unacceptable” body from other people’s judging eyes and potential comments.
Additionally, my pasty porcelain white skin is quite prone to bright red splotches. All over my face, ears, chest, neck, shoulders, and upper arms. When I drink I turn red, when I’m hot I turn red, when I’m embarrassed or uncomfortable or feel stupid I turn red… It’s rather common to find me at some point most evenings– even with taking my anxiety meds — in that bathroom talking myself down from a panic attack while applying wet cold paper towels to my face and neck and chest. If I wear makeup (which is absurdly hard to find in “white as a sheet of fucking paper”) I will turn splotchy under the makeup and be even more embarrassed. The worst is around my parents and grandma — judgement is passed about size and lack of makeup and my blood pressure skyrockets, and then there is constant loud worrying over my red face.
Work in progress. Body love in progress.
I am fully aware that I’m regularly embarrassed by my body (size, stretch marks, farting) but that I’ve personally conquered the hair and scars that adorn me. I often walk around my new place in just my underwear (and not just to save on the electric bill), and my boyfriend doesn’t care. At all. (and since I discovered my body confidence, neither have any of the others, minus a few POS boys that really didn’t work out.) (Yep, when you drink, I definitely don’t look like your favorite porn star.)
I try my best to think and talk positively about my body, and to think and talk positively about all bodies. But this is always a work in progress. It will always be a work in progress. You have to love your body before you can change anything. You have to love your body before you can lose permanent weight through lifestyle choices (eating, exercise…); you have to love your body before you can love the clothes you put on yourself; you have to love your body before you can truly love your partner’s body.
You have to love your body before you can better your body. You must accept your flaws and your fat, you must accept your stretch marks and the hair that does or doesn’t grow everywhere. (Seriously, I have dark blonde hair and light blonde eyebrows, and black pit and pubic hair. You glance over at me and you don’t see eyebrows. Where are my eyebrows?!)
There is no way to tackle your high cholesterol and your overbearing depression, your aching joints and your crippling anxiety, your chronic illness and disdain for leaving the comfort of home until you have accepted yourself. (And yes, this is speaking from personal experience.)
Fuck the haters.
Fuck society’s opinions, fuck the status quo, fuck anyone that has a problem with your body. You and your health is yours and your doctors. (And if your doctor wants to size shame you, or offer any other sort of physical shaming, get rid of that mother fucker.)
Yes, parents/partners/best friends are allowed to be concerned for you. They are not allowed to berate or harass you, belittle or shame you, in any way, in their expression of concern. And you have every right to tell them that, repeatedly, until you become rude. (Once, my concerned grandma gave me money for a 6 month gym membership because I told her– politely– to get the fuck off my back about my belly unless she was genuinely willing to help. Today I’d rather have a yoga studio class card, but don’t underestimate people’s willingness to help you help yourself.) Those that truly love you will help you however they can; once you can express your love and acceptance of your body, and your desire for productive and permanent change of any sort, get rid of anyone left in your life that does not support you in a kind and productive way. There is nothing wrong with having a time-out year (or five), or very limited contact with rules, with a family member.
The golden rule (treat others as you’d want to be treated) is always in effect. Do no harm, but take no shit. Love and accept your body, it’s the first step in treating your body better. And when you value treating your body better, your life becomes better, and you can start to rediscover some of the happiness that society’s ideals have taken from you.
To the CFF community — what about your wonderfully imperfect body have you been able to accept and overcome? What has been the most challenging aspect you’ve worked on? What have you worked on and not conquered?