Category Archives: raped

gift guide for cranky fat feminists!

Gift ideas for the holidays, for all of the cranky feminists in your life (fat or slim)! This is a gift guide in progress, so don’t forget to check back for more great finds!

books I recommend!

Fatropolis will take you away to an alternate world where big is beautiful. Hiding your body is unnecessary. Shopping for clothes is easy. Eating your fill isn’t embarrassing. If you’re a fat woman (or man!) this is a book you don’t want to miss! (age appropriate for high schoolers as well)

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide is a book to not read lightly. It’s important work, it’s an important read, but it comes with a giant trigger warning. Amazon says “…a passionate call to arms against our era’s most pervasive human rights violation: the oppression of women and girls in the developing world. One chapter at a time, this is an important read.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic is a graphic novel depicting Alison Bechdel’s childhood, adolescence, and discovery of her sexuality. She shows us her vulnerabilities, her family problems, and her journey to adulthood. I’ve read this several times, and highly recommend!

Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood is a graphic novel depicting Marjane Satrapi’s coming of age in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. Don’t miss this! (also age appropriate for high schoolers)

buying books instead of drinks

my wishlist!

On my personal wishlist is Sex Object: a Memoir, by Jessica Valenti. Amazon says “Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential. From subway gropings and imposter syndrome to sexual awakenings and motherhood, Sex Object reveals the painful, embarrassing, and sometimes illegal moments that shaped Valenti’s adolescence and young adulthood in New York City.”

Fresh off the press, Feminist Fight Club: an Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace, by Jessica Bennett is also on my wishlist. Here’s why: “Part manual, part manifesto, Feminist Fight Club is a hilarious yet incisive guide to navigating subtle sexism at work, providing real-life career advice and humorous reinforcement for a new generation of professional women… Hard-hitting and entertaining, Feminist Fight Club blends personal stories with research, statistics, and no-bullsh*t expert advice. Bennett offers a new vocabulary for the sexist workplace archetypes women encounter everyday.”

Fight Like a Girl introduces readers to the history of feminist activism in the U.S. in an effort to celebrate those who paved the way and draw attention to those who are working hard to further the feminist cause today.” How could this not be on my list of books to read and give?!

Rad Women Worldwide: Artists and Athletes, Pirates and Punks, and Other Revolutionaries Who Shaped History features 40 women from 31 countries around the world. There’s also a list of 250 additional rad women to check out on your own. Get inspired, or inspire others with this awesome collection!

strong women

 

coloring books on my wishlist!

The Yoni Coloring Book is an awesome gift for anyone you know that loves to color, or would enjoy creating crazy colored vulvas! The illustrator is part of our CFF community.

The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Coloring Book: A Tribute to the Always Colorful and Often Inspiring Life of the Supreme Court Justice Known as RBG. Need I say more than “notorious RBG coloring book!”? <3

 

 

**disclaimer! I may receive a commission from purchases made via these links**

[cranky] so broke, so pissed

I can literally feel a stabbing pain in my chest. My two $25 birthday giftcards are gone. Who has been in the house since I recieved them? Realtors, prospective house buyers, my good friend “J,” and my old high school friend and new friend-without-benefits “Jack.” About a month or two ago I had a disappearing cash meltdown — was Jack going through bags, to find my purse, to find my wallet, to take cash?! Twice? No way. Has Jack managed to walk off with giftcards that had been tucked away? Is that what he was doing instead of cleaning the kitchen after he made midnight dinner a few nights ago?

Previously the thief was my younger sister — stealing keys, making copies, and sneaking in while we were at work to steal cash and sell-able anxiety meds (usually klonopin). I feel like the biggest fool letting someone into my home and having money disappear. There is $5.05 in my purse right now, all in coins. That’s all I have. Along with no job and a student loan payment due in 7 days.

My sister has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She was diagnosed when she was 17. There is a list of 9 “symptoms”/behaviors and you have to have 5 to get your gold star… she has all 9. Very briefly… she was drugged and raped at age 14 setting her off into a downward spiral of shit; by 15 she had admitted to us that she was drinking heavily since nearly age 13 and she also thought she had a miscarriage without actually having had sex; by 16 she had her first tattoo out of a pay-by-the-hour motel and was dating a 31 year old man with 4 kids from 4 different moms; at 17 I took away her PTI freebie and she had to be processed at the state prison after she stole my identity and all of my money while I was out of the country, she was a member of the Crips, got checked back into the psych ward, and skipped town for several months with my mom (to this day, I’m not sure where they went), after they came back in town she was checked into a residential outdoor rehab center and was their longest ever patient– turning 18 at the facility and choosing to stay. By age 19 she accused me of molesting her repeatedly as children, and now at 20 I’m forbidden from being in the same building as her, per my mother and grandmother’s orders. J has seen her out at bars several times, and she’s going to be 21 in a few months. She’s claimed to be an alcoholic since she was 15, and now she’s regularly drinking and driving and the only person that could possibly stop her is my mother who is afraid of running her off. She is capable of constructing entirely alternate realities, alternate stories, events, persons and then believing them whole-heartedly.

Despite my father and therapist telling me otherwise, I feel like the ultimate dumb shit for allowing money to walk out of my house. I know better. I know the signs, I know what to look for. I let my guard down, and I feel like an idiot. I think there’s some chocolate box cake mix in the cabinet I can make, so I can save that $5.05 for something… no clue what…

[feminist] VAWA House action

Boehner, Cantor, and the other GOP/TeaBagger leadership have created a counter Violence Against Women Act. We are asking these targets (democrats and women) to co-sponsor HR 11, the comprehensive VAWA– not the conservative VAWA. The conservative VAWA excludes LGBTQ, Native Americans, sex trafficking victims, and not-unblocking the rape kit backlog.

sample tweets in English and Spanish:

  • 1 in 3 #NativeAmerican #women are victims of #sexualassault during their life. We all deserve a comprehensive #VAWA
  • Promueve HR11 porque todavia hay gente muriendo por violencia domestica. #dv #VAWA
  • 2 in 5 black #women will be sexually abused during her lifetime. Sponsor HR11 now! #VAWA
  • 2 de cada 5 mujeres negras seran abusadas sexualmente en el transcurso de su vida. Promueve HR11 ahora! #VAWA
  • #LGBT survivors face the same rates of #DV & #SA as all – so #VAWA must include them too. Sponsor HR11!
  • #LGBT enfrentan la misma tasa de #DV & #SA como los demas-por eso #VAWA incluirlos tambien. Promueve HR11!

AL Roby, Martha  R RepMarthaRoby 202-225-2901
FL Ros-Lehtinen, Ileana  R RosLehitinen 202-225-3931
GA Barrow, John  D repjohnbarrow 202-225-2823
IL Lipinski, Daniel  D RepLipinski 202-225-5701
IN Walorski, Jackie  R RepWalorski 202-225-3915
IN Brooks, Susan W.  R SusanWBrooks 202-225-2276
KS Jenkins, Lynn  R RepLynnJenkins 202-225-6601
MI Miller, Candice  R CandiceMiller 202-225-2106
MN Bachmann, Michele  R MicheleBachmann 202-225-2331
MN Peterson, Collin C.  D no twitter 202-225-2165
MO Wagner, Ann  R RepAnnWagner 202-225-1621
MO Hartzler, Vicky  R RepHartzler 202-225-2876
NC Ellmers, Renee  R RepReneeEllmers 202-225-4531
NC Foxx, Virginia  R virginiafoxx 202-225-2071
NC McIntyre, Mike  D RepMikeMcIntyre 202-225-2731
SD Noem, Kristi  R RepKristiNoem 202-225-2801
TN Black, Diane  R repDianeBlack 202-225-4231
TN Blackburn, Marsha  R MarshaBlackburn 202-225-2811
TX Granger, Kay  R RepKayGranger 202-225-5071
UT Bishop, Rob  R no twitter 202-225-0453
UT Matheson, Jim  D RepJimMatheson 202-225-3011
WA Herrera Beutler, Jaime  R HerreraBeutler 202-225-3536
WA McMorris Rodgers, Cathy  R cathymcmorris 202-225-2006
WV Capito, Shelley Moore  R RepShelley 202-225-2711
WY Lummis, Cynthia M.  R CynthiaLummis 202-225-2311

[feminist] senate shit list

These 22 Republican and Tea Party men voted against re-authorizing the Violence Against Women Act in the Senate. 8 of them voted against bringing up the VAWA for debate and vote at all.

The bill authorizes $659 million over five years for VAWA programs; expands VAWA to include new protections for LGBT and Native American victims; give more attention to sexual assault prevention and to help reduce a backlog in processing rape kits. Created in 1994, VAWA has helped to strengthen programs and services for victims of domestic violence, dating violence and stalking.

Assholes:
John Barrasso (Wyo.) , Mike Enzi (Wyo.) 2014
Roy Blunt (Mo.)
John Boozman (Ark.)
Tom Coburn (Okla.), James Inhofe (Okla.) 2014
John Cornyn (Texas) 2014, Ted Cruz (Texas)
Lindsey Graham (S.C.) 2014 , Tim Scott (S.C.) 2014
Chuck Grassley (Iowa)
Orrin Hatch (Utah), Mike Lee (Utah)
Mike Johanns (Neb.) 2014
Ron Johnson (Wisc.)
Mitch McConnell (Ky.) 2014, Rand Paul (Ky.)
Jim Risch (Idaho) 2014
Pat Roberts (Kansas) 2014
Marco Rubio (Fla.)
Jeff Sessions (Ala.) 2014
John Thune (S.D.)

[feminist] “Human Trafficking”

In honor of human trafficking awareness month, I watched part one of “Human Trafficking” last night. It follows the stories of three women/girls– a single mom in Prague, Czech Republic; a 16 year old student from Kiev, Ukraine; and a 12 year old American tourist visiting Manila, Philippines.

 Helena, the single mom is courted by a handsome man and agrees to get a passport and travel to Vienna, Austria with him. Upon arrival he delivers her to the traffickers for cash and immediately leaves.
Nadia is the 16 year old student from Kiev who is recruited to come to America by an eastern European modeling agency. Her mother died several years before, and she lives in a small house with her father who doesn’t want her to leave the country. She ends up sneaking away to go with the modeling agency and its other modeling victims.

Helena arrives in New York with the modeling group, and they are taken to a strip club– their passports and papers are taken away, they are stripped down to their underclothes, and told that they have to work as sex slaves until their debt (of passports, visas, plane tickets, all with interest) are paid off. They are sent to different brothels and moved around the area fairly regularly to avoid being caught.


In Manila we see every parent’s nightmare: 12 year old Annie is snatched from her mother at the busy market, thrown into the back of a Jeep and driven away. Annie’s mother continues to work with the police to try to find her daughter, and eventually her husband has to return home to work. We get a first-hand glimpse of what we usually only hear about in the news. Annie is taken to a brothel in Manila, catering to American/European tourists. We are also introduced to a young girl who is sold by her father into the brothel– he has too many bills to pay, and he feels he has no choice but to sell her. We also see a very young boy swept away to cater to a client’s needs, and then returned to the communal bedroom beaten, bruised, and crying. All of the victims are in the same international network of sex traffickers, the head of which is in fact a rich, handsome, powerful eastern European modeling agent, who hand picked the school girls in Kiev.

Human Trafficking

The other plot line involves an up and coming cop who joins the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) after she is called to the third death of a teenage Eastern European prostitute in New York. She manages to bust one brothel and free Helena– the traffickers escape and the women are brought into custody as prostitutes. Helena had been an accountant in Prague, and the modeling agent/kingpin had assigned her to keep the books before she was freed. There is a desperate race against time to ensure the safety of Helena’s young daughter in Prague as well as the safety of Helena herself since the traffickers know she is free and could incriminate them. Helena reluctantly gives up the name of the kingpin as leverage to have her daughter moved to America. She promises to give all of her information to ICE once she has her daughter, but in the holding area for the victims the other women pressure Helena not to talk. They all have family members that are actively being watched and are in danger.

Human Trafficking
polarisproject.org

This is on-again off-again available on Netflix. Check Amazon or your local library for this two part movie!

*disclaimer, purchases made through the above Amazon link may give me a commission*

https://polarisproject.org