A pro-choice demonstrator stands outside the Irish parliament

your abortion stories

Its time to end the shame and stigmas associated with abortions.
To add your story, email me or message me on Facebook.

Since this collection continues to grow, I have divided it into a few sections. Hopefully this will make it easier to read, or at least easier to read, walk away, and find where you left off! (As this is a heavy topic, and hard for me as well) The newest stories I have received are added to the end, so don’t forget to check back every few months for more stories! Also, all of the images on this page are found images– feel free to borrow them.

SECTION ONE

Emily

I was 18 years old and a senior in high school. I had recently lost a lot of weight within the past year and a half and I started getting attention for a lot of different boys. I met a boy that was in the military. He became my very first boyfriend. We had a very fast relationship. We dated for a month but since he was my first boyfriend I was completely delusionally in love with him. Even though we broke up I’d still travel hours up to his duty station to spend time with him and we continued to sleep together. We saw each other last around the end of December. We remained to talk over the phone. I found out that I was pregnant in February. I told him about it and he immediately demanded that I have an abortion because it would ruin his future career. Funny enough, his family is very conservative and very catholic and yet he was telling me to get an abortion. I knew it was the right thing to do. He offered me no support in the process though, so I kept completely quiet about the situation. At around 14 weeks I decided to cut off contact with him and had an abortion. Was it a hard decision? Yes. Was it the right one? For me yes. I was a senior in high school and I would be a single mom. There was no need to try to raise a child in hostility. It was pretty much painless and I went along my life. To this day he’s never said a word about it and continues to be a shitty person but that’s on him. Today, I’m a strong woman that is married and has a beautiful little girl. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be married, be as happy as I am nor be the person I am today if I hadn’t had an abortion. I volunteer with various women’s rights groups. I have counter protested ‘pro-life’ groups outside Planned Parenthoods by myself that have tried to shame me in my decision. But I am not ashamed, not a bit.

Kelly


My story is very similar to Emily’s, I’m not married yet but I have found the love of my life, and I love who I am and who I’m becoming. I know that I wouldn’t have come close to this reality if I hadn’t had an abortion when I was 18. It was the best choice for me and I’m proud of it!

Savonna 

I am a 40 year old woman who made a horrible difficult choice in her youth. Now, I want a baby and my body isn’t cooperating. I STILL stand behind my choices. No baby deserved that young lost girl as a mother. I did what I did and fuck you if you judge me.

Genevive 

I stand by my decision. Not a damn thing anyone can say, no amount of bullshit, rhetoric, or judgement to make me feel differently. I am simply NOT mommy material. Almost 40, and I still don’t want anything to do with children. That said, you can only imagine the parent I would be if forced to give birth. I support fully a women’s right to CHOOSE when/if she wants to be a parent or not.

Heidi 

I got pregnant at sixteen and kept the baby. I’ve been through hell and guess who had to live it with me. Things are better now but…let’s just say I will support the right to choose until the day I die and I will never belong to a religion of any type ever again.

Melissa

I was 20 years old with a 9 month old when I got pregnant again. I was the only one with a job in our household, their father wasn’t interested in having a job or raising the son we had, let alone two of them. All because I wouldn’t marry him to make his extremist mother happy. We were together but it was only for the sake of our son. When I found out I was pregnant again I knew I couldn’t have another kid financially without resorting to government aid, and I couldn’t handle the emotional toll it would take on me. The thought really shocked me into realizing I couldn’t stay with a man who wasn’t interested in raising a child at all. I mean our son was 9 months old and he still didn’t know how to fill a diaper bag or thaw out breast milk. So I had an abortion and he moved back home with his mom. She lived a few miles away from my house but that was the end of him seeing my son, it was too far out of the way for him. I got a better job, worked my ass off and met up with an old coworker a few weeks later. We started seeing each other and six months later we started dating officially. I then introduced him to my son and he’s been with us ever since. We got married the following year and had another son. I know had I had that child, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m happy, I have a career and I did all of it on my own with no help from family or the government. I’m happily married to a wonderful man who loves our sons. I don’t regret having an abortion for one second.

if youre against abortion dont have one

 

SECTION TWO

D.

When I was 15 I got into an argument with my mom and decided to run away. I met up with another friend and we went to her boyfriends apartment to stay a few nights. I was awoken from my sleep on the top bunk by some guy. He put his hand over my mouth and proceeded to force himself inside me. He raped me. I left and went home, but I didn’t tell anyone about what happened. I was afraid I would be blamed. About a month later I realized that I was late. I skipped school with a friend and went to the local free clinic where they confirmed that I was pregnant. I was terrified, but I went home and told my mom anyway, still not mentioning that I was raped. My boyfriend at the time was the only one that knew and he agreed to let my mom think he was the father. I knew I couldn’t have a baby this way and so I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. Thankfully, my mother didn’t try to talk me out of it. We found an ob/gyn office that also performed abortions and scheduled the appointment. When that morning came I was so scared, I had no idea what to expect. My mom and boyfriend came with me and were both very supportive. I don’t regret my decision at all. I knew it was the right choice for me.  I do struggle with talking about it though. I still feel like I’m being judged.

it stops safe abortions

Deborah

I was 27 when I had an abortion and I already had an 8 year old son. I knew the relationship I was in wasn’t going to last so I decided on an abortion. It really was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make but it was absolutely the right decision for me to make. I’m not ashamed of it, I don’t feel guilty about it. No woman should feel like this or be made to feel like this. Abortion is neither a moral issue or a religious one. It’s purely down to personal choice.

Susan

Thank you for this space, I had one, I’m sure it was a girl, my heart & soul was in such a diminished state at the time. I don’t know if it was right or wrong. thank you thank you for your bravery for posting this.

Tracy

I was 28 when I had an abortion (several years ago) at a local controversial Clinic that was notorious for providing safe and legal abortions. What surprised me most as I waited in the Clinic with several other women was the absence of the stereotypical ‘irresponsible teen’ I had been expecting. Most of the women there were mothers, middle aged, professionals, obviously intelligent and responsible women making a difficult decision. It was a somber wait, but not a Shameful one. We all knew we had thought long and hard before coming to this decision. But I, too, am reluctant to speak of it to anyone.

Rebecca 

Thank You all for sharing your stories. Ten years ago in college, I was raped & finding my period late, thought I was pregnant. I decided despite my religion I’d have an abortion. Luckily I had a planned parenthood nearby to tell me I wasn’t pregnant & didn’t catch anything from the bastard! I didn’t have to go through with my decision, but I’ve felt the judgement from those who shared my faith, but disagreed with my decision. I’ve since distanced myself from religion, found I don’t need that judgement in my life!

Anon.

I had just turned 21 when I found out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I were living paycheck-to-paycheck. Between him paying child support and spousal support, and my money woes that were still lingering from my divorce (on top of family issues), it was a terrible time to start a family. I could find nowhere to assign the anger and fear that I felt from knowing that I would be aborting my baby. I kept going back and forth in my mind, but knew that there was no way that i was financially or emotionally ready enough to bring a child into this world. If it were later on in life, I would have kept the baby. Looking back, I’m still glad that I stuck to my guns and got the abortion.

“As I sat in the abortion clinic’s waiting room with about a dozen other young women, I felt the tension in the air. We each waited with bated breath, and I felt the questions we wouldn’t dare to speak aloud press against the silence. I felt every ounce of the fear and anger that was inside of each girl, including myself. We each wanted a mother or an aunt or sister to tell us that our feelings were justified and that we would make it out in one piece. It seems that we as a society have been conditioned to not discuss our own experiences concerning abortion. We need to realize that simply pretending that abortions don’t happen will not make it so. Our voices need to be heard. We mustn’t be ashamed anymore.”

things that lower abortion rates

SECTION THREE

Melissa

I was 23 and engaged to a man I loved very deeply at the time. Neither one of us was ready, mentally or financially, even though we planned on having kids eventually. I consider myself incredibly lucky that I had a very supportive partner who ultimately said that the decision was mine alone, and that he would be supportive of whatever decision I made. Having an abortion was by far one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made, but one that I have never, ever regretted. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It took me a long time to be comfortable with it, but now I’m able to speak freely of it, and hope that by doing so it helps to erase the stigma so many women, like I once did, feel.

Sharon

I had an abortion at 15, and that was 40 years and two wonderful children ago. I fully believe it was the absolute best decision for me. I’ve often wondered what my life would have been like had I not chosen that path, but I’ve never regretted it. While I don’t push abortion or go around recommending it, I fully support each woman’s right to make her own choice regarding her body and to make it without apology. No one else knows what she has to deal with and therefore no one else should be so presumptuous as to try to think they know the best thing for her. I applaud the bravery of the women who have shared their stories here publicly!

panties

Molly

When I was 19 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I raised her for a year during which I struggled to hold a job, never had childcare, was abused emotionally, verbally, and physically by her father, couldn’t pass a college course, and generally failed to thrive. My daughter and I were becoming part of a cycle that I didn’t want her to be a part of. Despite her father’s threats and rage, I decided to ask my aunt and uncle to adopt her. One month after her birthday, they took legal custody of my child. When my daughter was five months old, I started dating my husband. He did his best to help me with my daughter, but I was drowning. He later did his best to love and support me through her adoption. Four months after my daughter left my care, I found myself pregnant. I was devastated. If I had another baby, everything that I had been through with my daughter would have been for nothing. I was also embarrassed. I didn’t want to tell my boyfriend or my mom. I was afraid they would be mad at me because they had both done so much for me during the adoption. When I finally told my mom, she was more supportive than I could have imagined. I had to drive two hours away and stay in a hotel for two nights in order to have my abortion. I went in a day early and had an exam and then the next day for the procedure. The nurses and the doctor were so nice to me, so respectful. I remember them giving me Valium because I was so nervous and scared. I remember that after the procedure was done they moved me to a recovery room to wait. There was another girl in there with a friend and she was crying. At the time, I was relieved. I didn’t cry because I knew that however much I was suffering, I had made the right choice. I felt bad for her, because I thought the crying meant that she wasn’t as certain of her choice as I was. Today, I know that I do not know what was on her heart. I just know that we sat in that room together, not talking, going through the same thing. I will never forget her face. I will never forget the doctor’s face. Now, I have two children of my own. I have a college degree. I have a lot of things in my life that I don’t think I would have it were not for those two very difficult decisions I made when I was twenty years old.

abortion is a person decision

Jennifer

I was halfway through my PhD program, and just starting my comprehensive exams, when I fell pregnant at age 27. I had only been dating my then boyfriend for a month, and although we ended up together and got married I didn’t know that he was the one for me at the time. I felt guilty because I wasn’t a teenager, and could probably have managed to care for a child, with or without my partner (although the financial commitments would have been difficult). We decided to have an abortion based on out very new relationship and my career/educational pursuits. My partner was there for me every step of the way – it’s probably one of the reasons we ended up together. Doctors were awful and treated me like a piece of gross meat (At one point they told my partner he probably didn’t want to look at my vagina because he wouldn’t be able to “unsee” the ultrasound procedure, as if my body was so disgusting), I was in pain a lot of the time and couldn’t sleep through the night. We bonded in the crisis and saw the best and worst of each other. I’m now finished with my PhD and more able to care for a child and how to be a better advocate for myself/others with doctors . Any baby I bring into the world now will have a better mother, with parents in a more committed and healthy relationship.

SECTION FOUR

Julia, 34, Canada

I have had 4 abortions, and even though my Dad told me when he drove me home from College in my 2nd year that ‘all women regret it and cry about it later on’. I have no regret. It is my body, it is my right. I am an angry enough feminist to have one on your front lawn if you try to mess with my right.

Dr. Henry Morgentaler is one of my real life heroes because he went to jail to support women’s right to a safe and respectful abortion in Canada.

When I was 19 I was dating my sweetheart and had fallen out of love with him and into love with the idea of going to university in our nations capital. It was 6 hours away from home, free from the emotionally abusive hold my mother had on me. When I had my first abortion it was to stand up for myself and secure a future where I was safe and could care for myself. I wasn’t going to tell him but the day before I asked for a ride. I told him he has no right to say anything I was going to do it anyways. He was still madly in love with me and I couldn’t stand him anymore. Genetically he was not worthy enough to father my children and I wanted to go away to school and explore my sexuality. I was on birth control but was not smart enough to take it on time.

#2 aged 24, I did not want to have kids with my first husband because he was like a child too and I did not want to have to raise 2 people. He didn’t want children and wouldn’t consider even talking about it as a life. When I went to the abortion centre I discovered the baby was already dead and it was recommended I go ahead with the abortion and not wait.

I was 25 and cheating on my husband when I had the 3rd abortion. I was young and stupid enough to marry a guy who in less than 4 months told me I was his soulmate and wanted to be with me forever (he really wanted me to take care of him with my awesomeness). He was so much ‘hotter’ and ‘cooler’ than me, I was in love lol. He had terrible Mommy issues which he tried to put me in the middle of. He enjoyed watching us fight over him. When I was younger I used cheating to break up with men because I had difficulty hurting others like my mother hurt me. I would try to get them to hurt me instead. Her voice was still loud in my ears. Funny thing was the guy I used was a dead beat cheating on his wife and lying to me about his life. I thought I found someone the same as me, the underdog ready to make something of themselves. When I ran towards my future, he went back to his wife and comfy life.

#4 This time am 30 now, with an amazing career, no more debt, I was 2 provinces away from home and finally taking care of myself. I have control over my life, finances, and am practising self care and respect for myself and the hard work it took to get me here. I wasn’t on the pill when I got caught up in a romance with a calm, patient, hard working, and caring man. He was steadfast, reliable, loving and had yet had the opportunity to really express his sexuality. He was hungry and I enjoyed being worshiped. 1 month in I got pregnant. I did not want us to rush into commitment or stupid decisions. I wanted to explore being separate and together. I wanted us to want to be together. He can take care of himself and was gainfully employed. He came from a good family who was welcoming and supportive. We developed respect, admiration, and a strong love for each other. We now have 2 children who are beautiful, happy, and healthy. He had a vasectomy because we are both incredibly fertile. I am happy, I am safe, I am loved, and I have a future of more of the same.

Women talk about the burden of childlessness. I respect this. Hyper fertility is also a challenge. I have had several miscarriages (3 that were confirmed and 2 more which felt the same to me) Whatever your challenges we get to choose how we deal with it. I have both physical, mental and emotional reasons for my abortions that I am comfortable with.

I would do them all over again. I support you in supporting your body. I do however feel men should be allowed to have an abortion as well. It is unfair that they have no choice to live with a mistake and we can do what we feel. If the sex was mutually consensual he should be allowed to have a non literal abortion. No one should be forced to be a parent and suffer from one mistake for the rest of their life. I got to learn from my mistakes, I support others in the right to make mistakes.

prochoice

 

Morgan

It wasn’t all that long ago that I was faced with this situation.This past year I was in a relationship with a boy for a while and it wasn’t until after we broke up that I found out I was pregnant. I knew I was not ready for a child and at 18 there was so much of my life that I wanted to live before having kids. I personally did not feel like I had to tell the boy I was pregnant because no matter what I would not be keeping the child. He was in no position to support me and a child and I knew he would not want to. Thankfully in Canada women’s health centers are amazing. It took me no time to have the appointment booked and it would cost me noting because it is covered by healthcare. They were very supportive. I told them that the father of the child did not even know I was pregnant and that I was no longer with him. They were so kind to me, telling me that it was my choice and I was not obligated to let him know. I am so glad I went through with it, because I would not be in the amazing place I am in. The select people I have spoken to since the abortion have been very judgemental to me not telling the would have been father. They have said it was wrong that he didn’t know he was a father. I don’t think it was wrong. He was not a father. There was never going to be a baby, I am glad that I did and feel no guilt.

misogyny crankyfatfeministAnon.

I had an abortion when I was 21. The father was only 17 at the time, and I knew there was no way we were ready for children. We got married a few years later, and when I was 25 I had our first child. I believe it is impossible to kill a soul, and if the time is not right, it is more responsible of the woman to choose an abortion and wait.

Anon.

I had an abortion at age 30. I was unmarried, and we both didn’t want it. There was not a second of doubt or lingering. We just got a doctor from the yellow pages and went there. My boyfriend was with me and supported me the whole way. I found out on the morning of my birthday and did it the same afternoon. Sounds sad but really it isn’t. Having that child was not possible and nobody could/can/should have told me otherwise.

Anon.

I was date raped while in high school. Abortions were illegal and I was too young to doubt my complete and total Catholic indoctrination. I had no family support and was so naive I did not even know public assistance existed, so I felt I had no other option but to marry the rapist, who believed he was in love with me. That dear child was the first love I experienced in my life and my greatest gift. The extent to which I let her down and was too young and ignorant for the task, is a constant pain and burden as I enter my later years. Her life has not been right and she suffers. I am certain my poor choices, my scars and my youth are a primary cause for the difficult issues she grapples with. There are no easy answers. I wish I could relive so many things, but that is not a choice. The hardest thing about any Now, is that later you will understand so much more – always. Do not underestimate the complexities of life. People with the best intentions still cause important damage. Babies are completely defenseless and deserve to enter a world that is reasonably ready and safe for them. Your life will never be perfect and I am not suggesting that is required. Many are better mothers than they ever believed possible. That is not how it was for us. My heartfelt sympathies to any struggling with this decision. For me, I believe both choices held great pain – if I had had a choice. I did have friends who went to Tijuana for abortions soon after, and one was badly butchered. I know they still carry their decision, and I carry the results of a deprivation of choice. I agree with those who say the focus should move to a society that cares for and protects those babies and children that are here and away from battering the private, difficult choices of woman. Fewer woman might need to make such a choice if we were a more supportive society that put children first. So instead of hating woman, consider loving children.

SECTION FIVE

her body her choice

Anon.

Thank you for making this page. It’s good to see that there are women who have worked past the shame that society puts on people for having abortions. I had one when I was 22 and when I think about it, sometimes I’m flooded with guilt. I think it was a boy, he would’ve been 9 by now, his name would’ve been Kanin with a birthday on August 23rd. Unlike pro-lifers may think, we don’t go parading around after an abortion, psychologically scaring. My boyfriend at the time was a bit psychotic and to this day, I still think he tampered with the condom that wound up breaking. He really wanted a baby and he was also worried that I was going to leave him. There was no way I could bring a baby into that mess as well as take care of a child. I don’t regret my decision at all. I’m in a stable marriage, have a career working with children and have come to find out I really don’t want kids.

Anon.

Thank you for talking about this! It frustrates me that this subject is so taboo.
I had an abortion at 26. The father was a friend who I’d slept with once. I was working as a waitress and trying to jump start my career as a costume designer. There was no way on earth I could take care of a child then. I scheduled the abortion with no hesitation. Mentally, I had a little conversation with my fetus, I told it that it wasn’t the right time, but it would be some day.
I chose to get the abortion pill, it was cheaper and I liked the idea of going through with it at home. I took it at my mom’s house, laying on her couch watching tv. It was the most terrible, excruciating pain I’ve ever been through. That extra strength Tylenol they give you is a joke! My mom was so scared, she almost took me to the hospital. But the pain subsided after about 40 minutes.
I didn’t have any emotional scars from the experience, but I went through some terrible physical pain. For three months after taking the pill, I had HORRIBLE abdominal cramps every night, and they were worsened by physical exercise. I couldn’t even do a simple yoga stretch. I even called the emergency abortion hotline at 2am one night, and the woman on the other line said this was normal and there wasn’t much to be done about it. (!?)
This same thing happened to a friend of mine who took the abortion pill. Now I advise any girlfriend of mine thinking about getting an abortion to get the procedure done by a doctor DON’T TAKE THE PILL!!
Even though it was painful, I’ve never regretted it for a moment. If I’d had that baby then it would have ruined my life.
Now I’m married and planning to try to conceive some time soon!

Anon.

I was a sophomore in college when I found out I was pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. Because I was so far along only a handful of doctors on the east coast preformed the type of abortion I needed. I had to travel to Boston with my sister and go through three days of procedures. Although it was the most gut wrenching decision I have ever made… it was the right one. Had I had the baby, I would not be able to continue studying at school. Had I had the baby who knows what type of negative images of a family it would have endured. Had I had the baby it would only have been a mistake. Timing is everything. And this timing was just way off. The fact that the bills have recently been passed limiting how many weeks a woman can be to have an abortion legally- outrages me… and scares me to think of anyone in my position… Had this bill passed any sooner I would have a child right now… A child with a child. I know there are other options and that’s great, I myself was adopted. I know some women are capable of giving up their lives to raise another. But for me it would have just been abuse and I feel blessed every day that I was able to make that decision about my body.

child family choice

Anon.

I got pregnant when I was 18. I wanted a baby (with my boyfriend of two months at the time) and had no guidance or support system to tell me it was a bad idea. My mom told me I was stuck with the dad for life so I might as well marry him. Now I am 26,divorced, and living on assistance. At times, I wish I got an abortion because I fail my daughter everyday of her life. I have no job, no goals or ambitions, depression, anxiety, ect… I never got to grow up and realize what I could do with my life. My daughter really is an amazing kid with potential to make it in life. When I think if I had gotten an abortion I think about her and how she wouldn’t be here. I makes me sad. But I also think of how much she has suffered at the hands of me and her sperm donor and how she would have been better off not here than a life time of pain, anger, resentment,and therapy.

pro-choice

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youre not pregnant

 

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body positive feminist blogger. saving the world one picture book at a time; pissed about the apathy of the world around her, and ready to create change

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